How forgiveness impacts Self-love and Self-Care

Forgiving and receiving forgiveness is something that can lift a burden from you, both mentally and emotionally. Forgiveness is a journey on its own level. Forgiving doesn’t mean that we are condoning the behavior or agreeing with the action taken but we are refusing to continue to let this situation, person, or thing continue to have an impact on our lives, and our mental and emotional wellbeing.

But, if I’m being honest, forgiveness is hard to come by. It is still something that I feel I struggle with at times. But I don’t let it completely consume me like it used to. I’ve had to learn some lessons the hard way in order to learn how to find my own path to forgiveness.

When Jesus said in the Bible “Go, and sin no more”, He meant what he said. Jesus was not one to mince words or beat around the bush about something. Jesus didn’t say “Go, and sin but don’t let me find out about it.” But that seems to be the common interpretation of what forgiveness means in today’s society.

You can forgive someone, they seem to take it as a sign of weakness, and then they continue with their behavior hoping you don’t find out again. And then, the cycle repeats. And I often wonder at how truly amazing Jesus was, to constantly forgive repeatedly, knowing that transgressions would take place again, and knowing forgiveness would need to be asked for and given all over again. But today, Good Friday, Jesus went to the cross and died so that our sins could be forgiven. His blood was the atonement for the world. The ultimate sacrifice, with unlimited love and an amazing capacity for forgiveness. I marvel daily at His strength and His seemingly endless capacity for love. Hence, why today we are discussing forgiveness.

Holding on to hurt and pain from the past can manifest itself as a blockage to real happiness and contentment because there is still a poison in your system you haven’t flushed out yet. But believe me when I say, you will be so much happier and feel so much lighter when you do begin that process of forgiveness and healing. Allowing yourself to forgive so you can begin to release the hurt and pain still attached to that person. It is so difficult, but it can be done with support and encouragement.

So, how does one even start on the path of forgiveness and healing?

  1. Accept the fact that you cannot go back and change the circumstance or incident. Your hands are tied when it comes to that part.
  2. Know that because you forgive the person or show forgiveness, does not mean you are weak, it does not mean you have to still continue to have that person in your life, and it does not mean that you agree with the person and the choice they made.
  3.  Realize that by letting go of this anger and hurt, you are placing yourself, your Self-Love journey, and your path to Self-Care, in front of the person who hurt you. You are allowing yourself to release the toxic feeling that sits like a weight in your chest. And when you feel the relief and the happiness that comes from cleansing yourself and your life from that toxic mess, you feel amazing and can begin to feel true happiness again.
  4. Yes, God asks that we forgive others as He has forgiven us. But he knows we are human, and it may take us a bit to find that path to forgiveness that he wants us to reach. He will try to guide us down the right path, but you have to be open and willing to listen to his voice and accepting of his guidance for it to be effective. ****I personally struggled with this. I remember asking why I had to even forgive in the first place. I was upset because I was hurt, and I was upset because I knew I had to forgive and move on from the hurt if I was ever going to be happy again within myself. I believe God let me hang on to that feeling for a while so that when I had fully forgiven and moved on, I would be able to feel the drastic difference between the lightness of forgiveness, and the weight of hanging on to hatred and anger. It’s hard to know if you’ve done the right thing and made the right decision (that God intended for you to make) if you don’t feel and begin to understand the consequences and results of both and how that makes you feel internally.
  5. Sometimes, the person you are forgiving isn’t even asking for forgiveness. And that can be frustrating. You wonder why they don’t see or acknowledge the hurt and pain they have caused, and they are wondering what the big deal is because you mean less to them than they mean to you. And this is why it’s not good, nor healthy, to hang on to unforgiveness. You are holding on to anger and toxic feelings for someone who has absolutely no feelings for you.

The path to Self-love and Self-Care can be hard enough as it is without someone else making it even harder on you. But that is where the real growth comes in. You are placing the importance of your mental, emotional, physical and spiritual health before toxic and unhealthy relationships that serve no purpose.

I hope I can personally learn to forgive more readily so that I can maintain my overall health and peace of mind. Forgiveness and release mean freedom from my past pain and an open pathway to a happier and brighter future.

I hope all of my wonderful readers and subscribers have enjoyed the read today!! God bless, everyone!!

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