How to practice self-love in a relationship?

Practicing self-love in a relationship is important to maintain your identity and your self-respect while building that relationship.

Practicing and maintaining self-love while in a healthy relationship with a partner who is not showing toxic or abusive tendencies is normal, manageable, and can be a mutually supportive endeavor that each of you agrees to support the other through. Experiencing your romantic partner encouraging you to care for and love yourself is one of the most humbling and amazing experiences. And in turn, you are providing your support to your partner in their own pursuit of self-love and self-care, and it is an incredibly rewarding experience as well.

Unfortunately, sometimes it can take a while to find that partner and that beautiful, healthy relationship that supports and fosters self-love and self-care in a positive manner. Why is it such a struggle to find not only a partner that you feel resonates with you on a profoundly deep level but is encouraging and supportive when it comes to maintaining your inner peace and happiness? In my own personal experience, it comes down to a strongly developed maturity level, mutual trust, a deep and healthy love that does not focus on selfish gain and acknowledging that your partner is still a person with their own mental and emotional health needs.

Self-love and self-care are also important in a healthy relationship because, within those acts of self-love and self-care, you are reinforcing your own self-respect and showing how you would like to be treated. Of course, everyone wants to be treated with respect and love, but if you are not showing any self-respect and little self-love, it may be easier to attract the wrong people who have no intention of showing respect or love at all and may just be looking for an easily controllable partner.

Learning the beauty of loving and caring for yourself can give you a sense of what it is like to show someone else real love and care in a considerate way. As you begin to understand your own needs and desires around self-love, self-care, and self-respect, you have a great insight into what another person needs for their own mental and emotional health as well.

There are a few tips and tricks I have picked up along the way that have helped me immensely when it comes to rebuilding a solid self-love and self-care relationship with myself again. And, below I will be sharing with you 10 great ways that you can begin to show yourself love and care in your healthy relationship, and how you can foster self-love and self-care in your romantic partner.

  1. Attempt to set time for yourself at least once a week to have some time to do something you enjoy doing.

Attempting to set some time for yourself each week to just do something that helps you relax and feel happy is a great start. If you are a crafter or have a hobby you care deeply for, make time to craft or dedicate some time to your hobby at least once a week. Your partner may also have a hobby, and if you both have a desire to set time aside each week for your hobbies or interests, but you still enjoy your time together, see if you can coordinate your mutual personal time around the same day and time so you don’t feel like you are not getting enough time with your partner. This could be a handy tip if you have little time with your partner each week due to work obligations.

2. If you have spiritual beliefs, give yourself time to partake in worship, prayer, reading of your holy texts, or any other spiritual facet that is important to you.

Respecting and maintaining your spiritual beliefs is also a part of your self-love and self-care journey. If your partner is also religious, it may be important to them as well to have time to dedicate to their spiritual practices. If you and your partner are both practitioners of the same faith and beliefs then worshiping together, but in your own way, may be a great experience for you both and may help grow the bond between you and your partner.

3. Manage your stress levels. Be in tune enough with your thoughts, your surroundings, and your habits to know when something is causing your stress.

This one is an important one. We all know that managing stress levels is extremely important. But so is having an idea of what may be causing you stress in the first place. Having the ability to identify what is causing undue stress and being able to cut it down to a minimum or cut it out completely from your life will be beneficial to making the most of your time with your partner and not coming into interactions with your partner in an overly stressed way, possibly inducing more stress in the process.

For myself, personally, I noticed that when I watched the news or read more than one or two news stories on my phone each day, I began to feel stressed and down. It always seems as though there is nothing uplifting or encouraging going on in the world today. So, the constant onslaught of depressing and shocking news stories really started to get to me. Once I realized this, I finally cut it out of my daily routine. Before this point, I had been an avid news watcher and I read a lot of news stories. I felt I wanted to know what was going on in the world. But, once I realized what a negative effect it was having on me and my emotional health, I cut it out completely. No, that doesn’t change the fact that there are so many horrible things going on in our world and in different cultures around the world, but it changes the amount of time I dwell on and worry over these things which I have no control over. And, in turn, this means that I am not bringing unhealthy amounts of stress on myself or into my marriage when it is needless.

4. Carry your own internal happiness with you.

For this tip to be beneficial for anyone, they must remember and acknowledge that their partner is only human and therefore, prone to off days, not feeling well, or being in a situation where they need to care for their mental and emotional health as well.

Carrying your own internal happiness is a lot like making sure your own internal batteries are charged. You are giving yourself the time, attention, care, and access to the things that make you happy in a healthy way so that you can maintain your own happiness and the bulk of the load doesn’t fall, rather unfairly, onto your spouse or partner.

Can you imagine how difficult it would be to try to jump a dead car battery with another dead car battery? You won’t get anywhere with two dead batteries and you’d both be stuck without being able to help each other. This is a great example of why self-love and self-care is so important in a marriage or a healthy relationship.

Your partner may know you very well and may know some things that make you happy or make you smile, but your partner doesn’t have the ability to be the sole source of your happiness entirely. They may struggle under the sheer amount of pressure. And then, where would they find time to care for themselves and practice their own self-love if you are relying on them to be your sole source of happiness?

It’s wonderful when you have a partner or a spouse that does make you happy and knows how to make you smile, make you laugh, make you feel loved and cared for, but you also must provide some love and care for yourself to be truly happy. Thus, why taking care of yourself and showing yourself love and respect on a regular basis is so important.

5. Remember that loving yourself and caring for yourself is a daily decision that you must choose to act on.

Self-love and self-care are something that each person must maintain with their own willpower. Your spouse or partner can encourage you, love you, and support you, but they cannot make you love yourself. They cannot force you to love yourself and they cannot teach you how to love yourself. Your partner can give tips and guidance, but ultimately, it is up to you to love and care for yourself.

Being dedicated enough to love yourself and show yourself real care is a daily decision that you must act on for yourself.

6. Accept your flaws.

Accepting your flaws puts you one step closer to truly loving yourself and accepting that you are not perfect, you are only human. But with the acceptance of your flaws, you learn that your flaws are what make you unique. Your flaws give you the perfect opportunity to truly hone your self-love and self-care techniques. And with accepting your flaws, you open the door to elevating your self-esteem as well.

Loving yourself means perseverance through the exposure of your flaws and the acceptance of those beautiful flaws that make you so human.

7. If your internal self-talk is abusive and toxic to yourself, Change it.

What we don’t want is to hold on to internal abusive and toxic self-talk and then have that become your normal, and then you begin to vocalize this toxic self-talk.

If we are continually meditating on something internally, we can become more comfortable with letting it out in the open. And that could be a doorway to letting toxic behavior into your life and your relationship. And you don’t want to bring that pain onto your partner.

Adjust and cut off the toxic self-talk before it becomes a negative habit that eventually manifests itself in your home and your relationship.

8. Disconnect from technology periodically and cleanse your mindset.

It is amazing the vast amount of strongly enforced imagery that can get to us through technology. Everything from tips on changing your body or your looks to fit a certain standard to what the internet says a perfect relationship or marriage looks like. And that can be damaging to your mindset with this constant barrage of “should be and shouldn’t be” opinions you can find.  

Give yourself an opportunity to disconnect from technology and different forms of media. Are you in a happy, healthy relationship that meets your needs and desires? Is your partner happy and at peace with your healthy relationship and their needs and desires are met? Then disconnect and allow your beautiful relationship to be what it is without forcing it into a mold made according to someone else’s standards.

Are you happy? Do you feel healthy physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually? If yes, then take steps to disconnect yourself from the strict requirements on what is and isn’t considered beautiful, healthy, or happy, and embrace who you are and the happiness you have. If you are not happy, if you do not feel healthy physically, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually then disconnect from those outside sources and do some soul-searching to figure out where the source of the unhappiness comes from. Be honest and open with yourself. Establish what does make you happy and what makes you feel healthy. Then, in no uncertain terms, establish the identity of what does not make you happy or feel healthy. Begin to work on finding out the why’s behind your findings and implement a strategy to either eliminate from your life what doesn’t make you happy or what may be causing stress. And begin to work on positive actions that make you feel healthier.

It is important to make this a personal journey for yourself, not a journey you feel forced to go on because of outside pressure or unrealistic expectations that have been overgeneralized.

9. Re-learn to appreciate the skillset you have.

A wonderful part of learning to love yourself while in a healthy relationship is to learn to genuinely appreciate what you can do and the abilities you have. Not in the “look at me, look how great I am!” type of way, but in the “I’m not worthless and I have value I can add to a relationship with my partner and my relationship with myself” type of way.

Reinforcing your abilities and what you have to offer can help boost your self-confidence and your belief in yourself, which goes a long way to learning to maintain strong self-love and self-respect in a healthy relationship.  

You are not worthless, and you have a unique value that you can add to this world and your life. Maintain that faith in yourself and in your abilities.

10. Enjoy the experience of giving back, helping others, and serving the less fortunate.

Learning to be selfless, caring, compassionate, and empathetic can give you the most amazing feeling of self-love and self-worth in the whole world. By serving others, you are giving back and building the level of respect you have for yourself. In serving others, you are also continually learning how to be selfless and compassionate in a mindful and intentional way. Not only are you building your self-respect and the faith in your own abilities to provide a service of value, but you are also showing those you serve that they are worthy of self-love and self-respect as well. You are building yourself up but in a very humbling way, you are also building up those you are helping.

Having and maintaining self-love and self-care in a relationship is possible, and it is healthy. While building a stronger foundation for your own self-love you are also fostering self-love and trust within your relationship and within your partner, giving them the support, and encouragement, they need to continue their own self-love journey so they can take part in the relationship with happiness and confidence.

I hope all my wonderful, amazing readers and subscribers have enjoyed the read!

God bless, everyone! And take care of yourselves!

One thought on “How to practice self-love in a relationship?

  1. Pingback: Internal Happiness Vs. External Validation | Creation of a beautiful life

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