Self-love and self-care both go hand in hand. Self-love and self-care have not only a physical, but a mental, spiritual, and emotional component that affects each of us as well. I will break these different parts down in separate posts so as to give each one the proper amount of thought and consideration.
There are so many ways we can show ourselves self-love and self-care. And both self-love and self-care can mean different things to different people. But at times, we can become blind to our own needs and feelings. Choking out our own thoughts and ideas because we are afraid of upsetting others.
This is the instance that our own needs go out the window and we start compromising on our boundaries. We start softening on our own values and what we know to be true to our own nature because we are trying so desperately to be loved by someone else.
If someone is making you feel as though you must change who you are at the core of your being for them to love you, that is not love. That is manipulation and a desire for control.
Self-love starts when you make the conscious decision to no longer allow others to have control over your personal boundaries. When you no longer allow others to attempt to manipulate who you are so that you will soften and form into what they would like for you to be. Self-care can begin when you realize that you deserve to be loved. You deserve to be treated with respect.
And there is no one on this earth more appropriate to show you respect than yourself.
In my own experience, I so often would allow my own boundaries to be completely disregarded because I didn’t want to hurt someone’s feelings. Not realizing that my own feelings deserve validation too. I would allow myself to be told what I would and would not do because I had given that power away to try to convince someone that I was worthy of love. Not realizing they had absolutely no respect for me and were never going to love me as I hoped.
You cannot depend on someone else to love you as you hope to be loved. You must love yourself as you have hoped to always be loved. And in so doing, hold firmly to your boundaries and respect for yourself. You must show others how you expect to be treated. Not how badly you will allow yourself to be treated to show the depths of your own love for another.
Self-love and Self-care must start with you. It must come from your strength within.
You may not feel as though you have that strength or that faith in yourself right now but let me reassure you. You do! All you must do is tap into that reserve of inner strength that you have been afraid to set free. Worried that this show of inner strength would drive others away.
When you start to feel as though you’re not sure if you are strong enough. When you start to doubt yourself, remember these points:
- I am worthy of love and affection
- I am strong enough to maintain my boundaries
- I have enough respect for myself that I will not allow others to blatantly disrespect me
- I know who I am, and I know quite well what my values and morals are. I will not allow anyone to invalidate my personal values and the morals by which I live my life and make my decisions.
- I am brave enough to maintain my faith in God and my faith within myself without letting the world break my defenses
- I have the courage to stand alone on God’s word with courage in the face of adversity and maintain that I will not be moved
Thank you, my beautiful readers, for giving me a little bit of your time and allowing me into your day. I pray that the above points will give you something positive and hopeful to think about.
Remember, You are worthy, you are amazing and you are loved!